This Could Have Been our First Family

This Could Have Been our First Family


Every year that passes since the 2008 election we have witnessed increasing numbers of ‘gotcha’ speeches and incidents by Sarah Palin, (otherwise known as ‘Caribou Barbie), which prompt us to give thanks that she and John McCain lost their campaign for the presidency. In early September there was a huge brawl in Anchorage, Alaska. We all let out another deep breath realizing this could have been our first family.

The whole clan was involved in a fight at a birthday party, and reports say that they lost.

It was a night to celebrate the birthday of husband Todd. They certainly know how to party; all except Sarah who reportedly stayed in a white limousine.

They left their own party to go to a party at the house of Korey Klingenmeyer, arriving just before midnight. Track, the oldest son of the family from the ‘hills of Alaska,’ claimed that the fight started when he accosted the partiers claiming that they were talking badly about his sisters. He claims he was ‘sucker-punched’ as he was attempting to walk back to the limo, and the fight began.

Brian Horschel, who was a guest at the party told another story. He said Track started a fight and ‘got beat up.’

Officers Justin Blake and John Daily responded to the call received by dispatch at 11:44 on the evening of September sixth. After they stopped the brawl, which was comprised of about 20 people, they began taking statements.

Daily interviewed Track and noticed that besides a bloody mouth and no shirt, he appeared to be ‘heavily intoxicated.’ After he had listened to his side of the story, he talked to Klingenmeyer. The first thing he told Officer Daily was that he was angry the Palin’s showed up and began starting trouble.

Track wasn’t the only Palin to be involved. Willow Palin, the youngest daughter, told police an older woman had pushed her, and the crowd was saying ‘fk the Palins.’ She told sister Bristol. Bristol approached Klingenmeyer and said, “I’m going to kick that girl’s ass.” Korey is about six-feet-tall and weighs 215 pounds. He told her that he wasn’t going to allow that at his home. She said “who the fk are you?” She then threatened to ‘kick his ass’ too. When Klingenmeyer told her to go ahead and punch him, she struck him in the face. He simply stood there while she struck him five more times. Finally he grabbed her wrist and pushed her away; she fell to the ground. Three people corroborated Korey’s story, and a fourth, Matthew McKenna, picked Bristol up and carried her to the curb. Todd and Sarah asked what happened, and McKenna told them he thought they should leave.

By this time another Officer, Ruth Adolf had arrived. Willow told her that Klingenmeyer was the one who assaulted Bristol, dragging her on the ground by a foot. It wasn’t over yet.

Adolf witnessed Daddy Todd confronting Klingenmeyer in the driveway. He was overheard saying: “Did you call my daughter a bitch?” Willow got involved and was observed ‘flipping Kobe off.’

The officers broke up the near altercation, and told the Palin’s to leave.

Sarah stayed in the limo the entire time, not saying a word with one exception. When officers first arrived she said: “Do you know who I am?” We all know; they could have been our first family.

No charges were filed because officers said everyone was ‘highly intoxicated.’

James Turnage



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James Turnage is currently a writer and editor for The Public Slate, a subsidiary of the Guardian Liberty Voice. He is also a novelist who is in the process of publishing his fourth effort. His responsibilities include Editing, reporting , managing.